AWWWWWWWWWWW.

Tonight my parents dragged me to this tree-lighting ceremony at the St. Regis Hotel in Dana Point. I like lights & all, but I just can't get all excited about seeing a huge tree lit up, especially when it's all white lights like everyone uses nowadays. Hardly anyone uses colored lights anymore, racist bastards. But it's something my mom really looks forward to & I suppose anything that'll help avoid her yearly I'VE HAD IT WITH CHRISTMAS, DON'T PUT UP ANY LIGHTS tirade, well I guess it's worth attempting.

It's a nice enough hotel (5-star, I'm told) that's practically on the beach & we got there as the sun was setting. I'm not generally someone who watches sunsets & stuff, but when you happen to catch one like this, well it IS kinda cool. I think I'm actually gonna look into getting a good camera, cos the pics I took with my phone (1.3mp) just aren't very clear once you transfer to the computer. The sun goes down, the lights go on, the carolers sing & the Chariman tries to announce a raffle, but the carolers dont' realize he's speaking so they just keep singing. The guy's accent is pretty thick, so maybe they just thought it was seagulls overhead or something.

First raffle was for a gift bag of soaps & shampoos. You know, the shit you'd STEAL from your room there. LAME prize, but the 2 people who won seemed pretty happy. Next was a swedish massage & I tried my hardest to will my parents into winning it. I just thought it'd be hilariously uncomfortable for the both of them, and isn't that what Christmas is really all about?

Third raffle was the big prize: An overnight stay in an Executive Suite. Executive Transvestite! They're a lot more widespread than you might think, y'know! They read off the ticket number & damned if it isn't the one my dad has! He turned 80 this year, but he took off like a shot when he realized he 'd won! It was a large crowd & the announcer didn't see him & was about to read off a new number for the prize, but my dad started waving his arms above him & yelling YOYOYO! One guy jokingly offered to take his ticket up for him, but my old man's no fool! He made it up there, got his prize & had his picture taken.

We met back up with my mom & she was insanely happy that'd "they'd" won XD She & my dad kissed & I saw a tear in his eye. I was touched, but I was also silently cursing god for not giving him the swedish massage prize.

Bicyclists are a bunch o' HOMOS.

You've seen 'em. Mincing little cocksuckers who think that just because they're on a 2-wheel "vehicle" that they're afforded the same leeway as a motorcycle. Nobody walks their bike across the street, they either ride it across or, worse yet, GET IN THE FUCKING LEFT TURN LANE. Never mind the fact that a bicycle simply doesn't have the mass to trigger the plate underneath that lets the signals know someone wants to turn. Or the fact that they just can't pedal away as fast as an engine can get up to speed. No, THESE fags want to make sure that you see them in all their rainbow-colored spandexed glory as they dangle their hairless legs (which are most likely shaved so they don't scratch themselves against each other in the shower - who the FUCK honestly believes that leg hair causes drag? Even swimmers are pushing that one!) and sport more maufacturer's logos all over their clothes than even the most hardcore ricers. If they didn't think it'd cause undue wind resistance, they'd leave the price tags on everything so you & I could marvel at how much they overspent on their superhero tights & are therefore better than you & I.

In most states, there's a bicycle helmet law. I'd like to see that amended to include a provision that FORBIDS "sport" bicyclists from wearing them. Fuckers are already brain-damaged as it is, what more harm could come from them splitting their head open as they skid across the pavement after I ram into them in my Honda? I'd like to see an amendment making it legal for me to run into them too. \:D/

Happy Foolishly Trusting Indian Day!

This is what I'm thankful for this year:


The Melon X: >:D<>:D<>:D<>:D<>:D<>:D<

the asian cupid: muchos gracias y tu (too ) baibai! :9

Ishiida: and oHO, I just let out a burp that would've made you SO PROUD. xD

Shiroihana03: If I woke up to that in the morning... I'd run screaming

IceMusume: nah, u can share anything with me anytime ^^ i appreciate ur openness

Jessi Musashi98: YAY! It's still the 11th there, right? XD at night?~

sevvyandhermy: fuck you xD

morninggraviton: god damn fag, when did I become a very special girl?

Lick the SweetS: man our lives are gay

My blood typo.

Today I called Kaiser Permanente to find out the results of all that bloodwork from a couple weeks ago. It's an automated service which reads the results to you, so you can't argue with them. It read off the results of 7 tests. 4 of them were simply "normal", and the other 3 were a number count which I have no idea as to their meaning. 52! 20.0! Hut, hut, HIKE!

I really didn't pay attention to the numbers cos I already have an appointment in a few weeks to go over the results. I just wanted to find out what my blood type was (c'monnnn, NEON!) The messages ended and I still didn't know my type, so I called the regular number & held for an operator. After a few calls back & forth, it turns out that the blood typing (which was what I called for in the 1st place) wasn't actually DONE. The ONE thing I actually WANTED to know didn't get done. CRAZY HMO MOTHERFUCKERS!

But, they did say I'm welcome to go back to give more blood, wheeeeee!

I HAVE A DREAM.

I dream of the day where I can dress up in a Godzilla suit, wear Stormtrooper armor over that, a Cyclops visor on top, carrying the biggest Super Soaker available filled with Drakkar, also carrying whichever electronic lightsaber looks coolest with the ensemble, and walk into a Star Trek convention and douse the trekkies with cologne (most of them for the first time in their lives,) and bash the remaining ones to death with the lightsaber.

There's a guy in New York named Jeff who shares a similar dream.

One day, you pricks. One. Day.

ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Apparently, I'm supposed to be dead.

I was driving my work van up a residential street this morning around 9:15, singing along with this week's new singles (well, more like sounding along, haha) when I suddenly saw this downed power line, partially on the ground, still attached at both sides of the street, coming up on me at eye level. There WAS a section in the middle of the road that was on the ground, but there was already a car driving over it. I slammed the brakes, but couldn't avoid running into the power line, and it went from under my left front tire to the upper front right of the windshield. SCORE!

The first thing I try to do is to back up. Makes sense, right? Live sparking power line across your front, back the hell up fast, right? I hear a kind of muffled creaking, and the 4 or 5 cars behind me started honking their horns. I tried going forward a bit, and hear the same creaking sound. I thought I had plenty of room to back up, so I tried that again. More horns, now sounding more rapidly. These people obviously want me dead, so I prepare to stomp the gas. A guy runs up along the sidewalk shouting GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! So I figure something's behind me that I just can't see. So I grab my phones & open the door.

Lying on the ground right where my feet would go is about 2 or 3 feet of cable. In fact, there's another 2 lines nearby. I can't just step down, so I decide to jump over it to a clear spot a few feet away. As I jump, time slows down & I feel like I'm doing one of those slow-motion-jump-from-the-explosion scenes from so many action movies. I land on one foot, then the other, then the other (haha, kidding) a few inches away from the cable, then kinda hop a couple paces here & there to avoid the other lines. I get clear & the guy comes up to me and says DID YOU SEE THOSE SPARKS? I look back & see the line, sparking away, and I'm quite glad to be on the sidewalk now.

As the police show up, a small crowd stars talking about the horrible screech/crash sound they heard about 5 minutes ago, then came out to find a power connector pulled away from their building, leaving the line dangling across the width of the street. They figured a rig truck must've somehow snagged it as it passed under, but they can't be sure since there's still a fully intact line that hangs a bit lower than this one did.

The cops block off the street, the firefighters are on their way, and I now have a chance to see the rest of the damage. At the front, part of the power line is shredded and wrapped around my front axle. I must've run over it, then when I backed up a bit it somehow threaded. At the back, another intact section of the line is wedged under the upper rim of the van, which runs all along the top. Basically, I'm trapped, which explains the creaking noises earlier. Oh, and the line's still sparking now & then, whee!

The firefighters arrive, look at the van, then come over to me & asked how I got out, then told me I shouldn't have gotten out! Apparently I was supposed to just sit in the van & wait to blow up. He said that after the initial impact (where electrocution's the most likely to occur) unless the vehicle's actually on fire, you shouldn't risk exiting, and then explained the wonders of electrical charge to me. This line was a multiple cable line, meaning one main cable, wrapped with 3 or 4 other smaller cables, each with a different voltage. When a live cable hits the ground, it creates a small electric field, about 5 or 6 inches in diameter. He knows I had to have jumped out, and asks if I landed on both feet at the same time. The reason is if one foot lands in one field, and the other lands in another field, boom. And I kinda hopscotched my way through a few lines. He asks if I'm joking, I say no, and the other guy confirms it, which totally floors the fireman. Between hitting the line, backing up into another line, and jumping around inbetween lines, I am, and I quote cos it stuck in my head, "Phenominally lucky to be alive."

Yeah, I sat down on the ground then.

The Edison crew shows up & shuts the power down, then they start to unravel the cable from my axle. One guy gets a "slight" shock which leaves a mark on his gloves, but he's used to it, haha. The officer takes my name, address & phone number, which I thought kinda weird, but hey maybe he's one of grav's friends. They clear me, I get in the van & drive off. As Mother Theresa once put it: "God don' wan' me yet, man. I got more feet ta taste."

Ha! Take THAT, Sony!

Yesterday, my patience ran out. I've been at work without any music for weeks & couldn't take it anymore, I decided to get the best portable audio I could afford RIGHT NOW (which ain't much really, haha.) I almost went for a Creative Labs 6GB Zen Micro, since they're on sale now for $150. Unfortuantely, my ears were bigger than my checkbook and I'm still not 100% sold on it's built-in microphone. So I looked at good ol' CD Walkmans.

The first one I looked at was a $30 Sony model. All it does is plays CDs, but I needs music NOW dammit! Then I saw a Panasonic one that plays mp3s. Ohhhhh yeah, They DO that now! They did it back then when I got my MD, but I didn't even consider it cos it sounded gay. "HellllOOOOO, look at my thweet widdle mpthwee CD pwayer!" Granted, "Check out my MINIDISC" doesn't sound much better, if at all. Hard Drive either. Hmmmmm, I may have just uncovered an industry secret...

Then I saw one of Sony's PSYC CD players. It's a rather striking clear orange & clear black design, but what really caught my eye was that it plays CDs, mp3s AND Sony's proprietary ATRAC format, which is what my MD uses! If I use a CD-RW disc, I could be using this thing the same as my MD player, except it can't record anything. But hey, music again, similar application, $50! And since a CD can hold a helluva lot more songs than an MD disc can, I'd be a fool NOT to buy! But I didn't.

The lil' dreamer in me said CHECK FRY'S. Fry's is an electronics chain that looooves to stock older equipment. They carry all the new shit too, just they seem to not let go of the past. Good thing too. They turned out to be the ONLY store in So. CA I've seen Sony's Hi-MD players at. They didn't have any older MDs, but they DID have the PSYC CD player... and it's immediate predecessor, the D-NE319. This model has the exact same features as the current model, only with no wired remote. But it was $30. And it was blue. And I bought it. \:D/

The thing works beautifully. I can use my existing MD software with it, it doesn't skip under any driving conditions so far, it's got a surprisingly thorough list of settings and options, 3 EQ settings with a 4th you can customize, 3 bass settings, and it looks like a small UFO. An awesome blue UFO.

I suppose "Take THAT, Sony" isn't really applicable here. After all, I DID end up buying another Sony product, and I still can't record vocals. I just feel somewhat victorious having avoided shelling out $156 \:D/ Of course, now that I see that Fry's carries Hi-MD, I'll be spending around $200 there for one, once I can afford it. Maybe tax refund time \:D/

The MD stands for MELT DOWN

A couple weeks ago, my Sony MiniDisc player stopped recording. And playing. And being of use. I still love the format, as I like making discs & switching them out without having to find one certain song out of more than 2 albums worth of music at a time. I also used it a lot for recording vocals (yup, that ams me in that there audio clip,) but it's mainly so I can have music I like playing as I dart through traffic all day long & do my best not to plow through the small cars. It's not all that easy, soooooo many of them just scream CRUSH ME! Volvos mostly. Those things'll suck the brain right outta you, via your ASS.

When the MD player died, I looked up my service options on Sony's site. Since I've had it 3 & 1/2 years, the warranty's long past expired, so the option given was to send it in with $140 for a replacement unit. A REFURBISHED unit, mind you. Which means I'd be giving them the player I paid $179 for, along with an additional $140, for a USED one. A used player that has no real guarantee of not going out like mine and now has a net cost of $319. Awesome.

Of course, this HAS to be a case where the site info hasn't been updated, right? No one in their right mind would ever pay that, and no one in their right mind would ever expect someone to pay that! Of course not, only government officials spend that carelessly! So today I called Sony's service line to get the REAL info from a human.

Of course, being Sony, they have to showcase their innovations. Their most dubious one is their automated service representative. A virtual tech whose name eludes me, so I will call him GAMBLOR. Gamblor asks you to respond to his questions with a yes or no, occasionally asking for a set of numbers. This is so you don't have to press the buttons like most auto menus, and risk running people down while you're driving, cos nobody calls from home anymore. Good thing too, since I was driving in heavy traffic when I made this call, and I secretly cursed Gamblor's efficiency which was preventing me from running people down. \:D/

After several yesses and nos, I get a human operator who I simply can't understand. He speaks like Christopher Reeve walks. Today. Since this is my 1st call to them, he needs to make a "Service Profile" which means he needs pretty much all my personal info, except blood type. This is fortunate, since I haven't received the results yet from Saturday's fiasco. Finally he asks what my problem is and I tell him that he creeps the holy living shit outta me and that he has no business interacting with people on any level and that I hope he's fired as soon as he helps me fix my MD player. I'm sure he's waiting outside my house now in the bushes, DON'T MAKE A SOUND. Authorities have been alerted, shh shhhhhhh!

After searching for repair info, he gives me a service number to give to the "Next Level of Service" operator he's about to connect me to. I can't help but laugh to see that Sony hasn't seemed to figure out how to simply send that number from one operator to another, go technonolgy! Thankfully, the Next Level Guy possesses Next Level pronounciation, but I have to give him my info again, whee! After checking to see if there's any kind of fix I could do myself, he tells me that it can't be repaired since it'd outweigh the cost of the unit. Heheh, UNIT.

Since it can't be repaired due to cost consideration, the only option left is the swapout for a refurbished one... for $156! So the site's info WAS out of date, prices went up! And since the new Hi-MD models start there, I guess my pretty blue MZ-N707 will continue to stand watch on top of the bills on my desk which prevent me from buying a Hi-MD for now. /D:\

Lesson: Portable audio costs too fucking much. STEAL what you can.

"It's the one that says BAD MOTHER FUCKER."

Today I finally found the Mace Windu electronic lightsaber. I've been looking for it for MONTHS! It originally shipped with the initial wave of Episode III merchandise back in March, and I passed it up, later discovering Hasbro only included it in that first wave of stuff. The toy's actually kind of a cop-out, as it's modeled after a hilt Sam Jackson wore in publicity shots for Episode I and never had it in any of the films. It's actually just 1/2 of the Darth Maul hilt, and by itself it basically looks like a giant robot cock. No, really. A cock. If the business end were rounded off, that's what it'd be. If you saw this attached to the groin area of any sci-fi robot (or even that crazy Japanese dancing Santa) you'd totally think it was meant for that.

So then, why on earth would I want to pay $20 for a cock-shaped lightsaber, especially when there's so many other, cooler designs? It's the blade. It's a purple blade, which makes it badass and therefore better than the other colors. It also lends itself to any number of purple helmet jokes, but that's more grav's territory. Grav loooooves to get himself some helmet. Sadude told me so.

Ironically, the coolest thing about this particular toy turns out to be it's biggest disappointment. The purple blade's just too damn dark to let most of the light through, so the effect (even in a totally dark room) is the blade looks like a long blacklite bulb, but without the actual blacklite glow. Now if they made an actual blacklite saber, IT would rule the universe (but not grav's universe. He worships the flesh-colored saber. Sadude told me this too.)

So is there any salvation to be found in this overly-phallic, non-light-emitting lightsaber? Perhaps. Like any other saber, it's always good for beating the kids or prodding the housewives down the grocery aisle. It also makes that "vhwohm" sound when you move it, so you don't have to look like a TOTAL ass as you make the sound yourself. And nothing draws the chicks at a party more than being able to show off your 3-foot purple knob that kinda glows (it's electric!) but that's pretty much it. I still prefer the Anakin/Vader one that changes color from red to blue (it's like a mood saber!) I'll probably just get a small metal plate engraved with BAD MOTHER FUCKER and glue it on.

P'OH!

Sometimes the things you do or say can have the exact opposite effect you intended or hoped for. But life continues onward, and hopefully you grow and gain strength from it. Just try not to walk around without your pants too often, got it?

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN BULLSHIT.

Today I had blood drawn to find out my type (oh I hope it comes back NEON!) as well as have some general tests done. I've always had a bit of an aversion to needles, but got over it years ago when I had blood tests every few days for almost a month before undergoing a gall bladder removal. Nothing was wrong with it, I just figured I already had a regular bladder, why bother with a gall one? OUT YOU GO, BASTARD! NO GALL BLADDER'S GONNA BE THE BOSS OF ME!

One of the tests was for diabetes, so no food for 12 or 14 hours before. And of course I started getting hungry around 10pm last night. I went in around 11:30 this morning & was sent straight to the draw station. The nurse/tech/whatever self-important title they give themselves nowadays tied off my left arm & had me make a fist. I did so, then proceeded to defiantly shake it in the air! YOU WILL NOT CLONE ME! I WILL DEAL WITH THAT MYSELF! ONCE MORE, THE SITH WILL RULE THE GALAXY AND WE WILL HAVE PEACE!

Uh, in case you don't know me that well, I do tend to kinda wander a bit, yay.

The nurse places a 1/2 sheet in front of me which details all the tests my blood will be used for. I am saddened to see there was no MUTANT GENE test in the list, fuck it all to hell. But all these tests require SIX VIALS of blood. SIX! If I knew another languge I'd say SIX in it for empahsis! No puede comer la sopa!

So the needle goes in no problem & she tells me to release my fist. Part of me wants to release it IN HER FACE, but she IS holding a fairly fragile pointed object in my arm, so I think better of it. Next time, you sow, next time! I'm watching as she fills up one vial, then two, then three. Now I'm starting to feel kinda weird, so I look away. I can now actually feel the life being sucked from me, so I take a deep breath. The nurse asks if I'm okay, and I say "yeah, just feel slightly light headed, you done?"

Apparently, my response is some sort of buzz phrase, cos almost immediately after I say it, two more nurses (none of them hot, BTW, dammit) appear with a wet rag, smelling salts and a magazine to fan me with. They tell me to place my head on the counter & I don't cos I know they're just gonna take my wallet. The 1st nurse practically shoves my head down & holds the smelling salt at my nose, which starts to make me feel worse, stupid whore. One of the others puts the wet rag on the back of my neck & the 3rd starts frantically fanning me with the magazine.

If I'd seen this happen to someone else, I'd have laughed my fucking ASS off at it, and so should you.

I try to sit up, but they won't LET me. One of them physically held her hand on my head to keep it down! I totally expected grav to come out at any moment screaming I HAVE YOU NOW, PREPARE TO BE INJECTED FROM BEHIND! Little bitch would totally set up something this elaborate just to try to anally rape me, I know it!

Finally they let me sit up & they say I look pale. Well of course I do! I've just given 80 gallons of blood & narrowly escaped being sodomized by a grubby messican who can turn chicks gay just by talking to them online! By now, there's a small crowd gathered outside the room, all looking to see what the fuss was about, and as I walked out I can assure you I was NOT pale at all, rather beet red. I wish I HAD passed out so they could carry me out on a stretcher & I wouldn't have had to walk past everybody. FUCKING EMBARRASSING doesn't even begin to describe it. But hey! I probably have a viable lawsuit now, WOO!

So, the lesson learned here? Fuck, I dunno. I'd say maybe it's that grav's a big homo, but you already knew that.

What the HELL am I doing here, who the HELL are you people, and how the HELL did you get into my room?

I've noticed I have a bit too much free time lately, so I thought I might as well waste YOUR time as well as mine! \:D/ I don't really have a helluva lot to say, but when I do & I'm not feeling too lazy, I'll say it here. Oh, how very special I am!

The first thing I'll say here (that crap earlier doesn't count, nyah) is Holy Geebus, how the hell can I see the options in ENGLISH? I have Japanese IME running on my comp (I don't understand a lot of it, I just think it looks cool and, therefore, makes ME look cool!) so when I clicked the GET YOUR OWN BLOG button, eeeeeverything's all chicken scratch. Even after resetting the IME to U.S. English (as well as the region location) and deleting the cookies, I still get Japanese even starting from scratch. I wonder if I'll ever be able to get English editing pages. Unless the whole thing's one big Japanese conglomerate, but that's just crazy talk.

It's amazing I've been able to get this far in the process!

(^_^X) That's my official smiley. YAKUZA. The What-Smiley-Are-You quiz told me so! Now if this were a blog run by a web-savvy person, there'd be a link there TO the quiz. Yup, sure would.

Now I'm bored & so are you. FIRST POST EVER.

\:D/


Haha, found the language button. Stupid kanji.