Oakley saved my face.

I work as a courier, delivering all kinds of crap around So. Cal, and a couple days ago I was loading a bunch of these resin containers from a storage room. It had one of those big metal doors like a walk-in freezer, about 4 or 5 inches thick and heavy as hell. I experienced this firsthand as a gust of wind closed the door, slamming it in my face, knocking me almost on my ass. I saw GOD as this happened, and he really DOES look like how the South Park guys depicted him. Rat bastard. Him & his rattier, bastardier son. YOU DAMN YOU!!!

Anyway, this slab of metal got me directly on the nose & actually did white-out my vision for a second. I was wearing my Oakley Juliets (polished frame, ruby lenses - custom, SUCKAAAAA!) which are a titanium alloy. These things kept my nose from being broken & consequently forced into a life of crime (cos you just can't be a successful criminal with a pretty nose.) Sure, the frame got a bit of a gash on the bridge & the right lens took a few scratches (fuck) but they took the hit defending their beloved owner, and I salute them for it. YOOOOOOO, JOE!

So what's cool now is I have this partly/fully torn bit of cartilage on the right tip of my nose (the doctor couldn't determine exactly which, and said it may or may not be a concern in the future, YAY MEDICAL DEGREE! Wonder if he also does weather?) I can press it in & feel it shift, then feel it reset when I let go! It's like one of those freshness buttons on jars of baby food that pop up when you break the seal, and I can't stop pressing it, huzzah! I got a small prescription of vicodin cos it actually does still hurt, and I'm most likely prolonging that by playing with it, BUT IT'S JUST SO DAMN ADDICTING!

So that's my story. Hope it was worth waiting 4 months for.